I swear I'm not judgmental and I'm not blowing it out of proportion. This is something I just can't handle. The thought of having to work with him makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to go to the director, but I don't know what else to do. I like this guy, but I'm angry that he's put me in this position by not cleaning himself at all. How do I handle this tactfully? We have to see each other for the next 4 months and I don't want there to be an awkward tension, but I'm seriously considering going to night classes to avoid him. I really don't know what to do. Does anyone have any input on how to handle this tactfully with the least amount of embarrassment for all involved?
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What great wording... Wish I were so eloquent!RowanB wrote:... make sure all the students are grooming themselves in a manner appropriate to the environment.
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Discuss it frankly with the instructors and school administration. They need to set a standard and stick to it, or they are communicating that they simply don't care about teaching any kind of professionalism. If this guy wants to be successful, he needs to learn consistent and sufficient professional-level hygiene and grooming. It's not up to you how it gets handled, but don't stay silent. The longer this goes on, the more it will continue to negatively impact the learning process for everyone present; you did not sign up for massage school because you want to spend your class periods fighting nausea.
The school I attended would have given this person an ultimatum within the first week: clean up or get out. Appropriate dress, nails trimmed, no B.O., no obvious scents of any kind, appropriate footwear and professional demeanor... these were all non-negotiable parts of the curriculum, particularly in the hands-on classes.
If this massage school is unwilling to take a stand with this student (to the detriment of his and all of his classmates' educations), then you (and all your classmates, including the smelly guy) are in the wrong bloody school.
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We had a lecture the first day of class. What to wear, no smoking on campus, proper hygiene, etc. They even suggested bringing several shirts and changing throughout the day to stay fresh. He even said, "IF you are the stinky person, everyone will know, and everyone will talk. Don't be the stinky person!" etc etc.
As far as them being unwilling to take a stand, I think that's where the problem lies. I was told by someone else in our class that our Swedish instructor discussed his hygiene with him SEVERAL times. I'm not sure if she wasn't blunt enough or didn't follow through, but it DID NOT work.
I have not discussed it with the director, yet. I told one of the new instructors about the problem on Thursday and she said that if he were in the night class (he didn't show during the morning class), she would send him home that evening. Tomorrow, he will probably show up during the day and that same instructor will be there. If she didn't address it Thursday, I'm sure she will tomorrow. If it continues to be a problem, I guess I'm going to have to disconnect the personal feelings and do what is right for all of us. Part of me feels like the nicer thing to do is to tell him to his face, part of me feels like he should KNOW that showering daily is a requirement, part of me feels like the staff should have addressed it and followed up on it before now. I'm very torn.
I'm climbing my way to the top. I've alerted the new instructor and if she doesn't fix it, I'll go talk to the assistant director, and if THAT doesn't work... I'll have a meeting with the director. One thing is for sure, I've thought about it enough that I'm at the point where I refuse to work with him.
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If it did, I hope we hear how.
For new students who find the thread, I would suggest talking to the instructor and saying that you will not work on this person without substantial improvement. Go up the ladder, get other students to stand with you. Use your power.
You might yet have to deal with BO, or bad breath, or oily skin, or gnarly feet, but you shouldn't have to be stuck with all of them.
Real live clients come in with many stages of daily grime. Some of the back acne I have seen could stand in for a Martian landscape.
But it is about the client. You have to get a pro demeanor.
I'd try a different approach, I'd actually speak with the student, for a couple of reasons. Thinking of the way my school is set up, we are a small night class (7 total). We have developed into a mini-family. Right of the bat, the ones that have been in MT school a little longer than me, ran me through the drill the first day of class. They told me the do's and don'ts (Which are always different from the instructor's version lol). With that said...we practice on each other -give tips, corrections, and advice, we study with each other-cheer each other on and build each other up during practical exams. We are comfortable enough to give each other the business, for example if someone didn't tend to the looonnnnng nails prior to practicing or injuring their wrist during basketball. "Protect the assets!!," as we shake our head and laugh. Ok maybe not every class is a mini-family and you don't feel comfortable saying something about it. Just think, it's good practice. Just think if you get a client that has poor hygiene, you initially have to deal with it, whether speaking with them about it prior to a session or if you chose to proceed with the session and decide not to take the client again. There is no way to avoid it.
Who knows, maybe he doesn't have a clue. It's possible...I know, I know, it shouldn't have to be like that. Nonetheless, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and approach it from a "help you out because we all have the same goal in mind", instead turning it into an awkward situation, you could play it off. You could start by opening a pack of mints and sharing with the class...and you temporarily solved the breath issue without even directly saying a word to him. Whip out some hand lotion and ask if anybody wants some, once again pass it around. Or even say ask (Mr. Needs-Help) to try some of your lotion and you want to know what his take on it because it's a product you want to try on men and because it doesn't leave that greasy feeling when you practice. Etc, etc....I could go on and on.
After all, you gotta protect the assets...
Your descriptions sounded much like McKinnon.
Except one person would pass on the mints because of sugar, another because it wasn't vegan sugar, another because it didn't fit in with her Aryuvedic diet, another because he was on a juice fast.... We are particular persnickety people!
Still waiting to see how Mt Stinky turned out.
If he stayed stinky, I'm suspecting he's not yet employed.
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