Incidental contact

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Incidental contact

Postby 1969libertine on Thu Jan 05, 2012 6:13 pm

Hi all,

About a year ago I started treating myself to a massage every 3-4 weeks. A few months ago, my therapist sold her practice and moved away. I've had 4 massages with the new therapist, and she is awesome. I don't know how to describe it but it's like she's doing a dance, and it feels wonderful.

During the last session, a couple of things happened, and I'm not sure what to make of them.

I was lying on my back while she massaged my hands and arms. As she was holding my arm doing her thing, my fingers brushed against her breast. I assumed it was incidental and spent the next minute trying to fight off an erection. After my hands, she moved behind me and started on my neck. She must have been leaning over me, because I could feel her necklace dangling against my forehead. Then I felt what I'm pretty sure were her breasts grazing against the top of my forehead, several times. I'm only 95% sure because I kept my eyes closed, but what else could it be? Anyway, that gave me a full erection that lasted a couple of minutes. That didn't seem to bother her as she was especially warm with me afterwards.

My question - was all this incidental? I'd be inclined to dismiss it as such, but neither of these things has ever happened to me during a massage before, and she's a veteran pro who knows her way around a massage table.

Either way, I'll continue to see her, but hoping y'all might have some insight.

Thanks!
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby peacenut on Thu Jan 05, 2012 8:27 pm

You are dreaming buddy. It's all in your head, the one on your shoulders. A quick Google of your user name confirms it, for me at least.
I'd let you watch, I would invite you, but the queens we use would not excite you.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby 1969libertine on Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:50 pm

I'm certainly not dreaming. I'm curious which of the google hits "confirms it" for you - the profile on passion.com I put up years ago? Ok, well I admit to having used internet dating sites, but that has no relevance here.

I'm asking an honest question. This happened a week ago today, and I can't stop thinking about it.

Today I decided to search the web to see how embarrassed I should be about the erection, and found this forum along with a lot of helpful information on that subject. I was also curious whether it's considered weird for me to keep my eyes closed during the massage, and learned that it's not.

Now I'm hoping someone here can tell me whether this kind of contact could happen accidentally.

Thanks.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby peacenut on Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:07 pm

1969libertine wrote:I'm certainly not dreaming.

I'm asking an honest question. This happened a week ago today, and
I can't stop thinking about it.

Now I'm hoping someone here can tell me whether this kind of contact could happen accidentally.

Thanks.


Right.

No one is going to feed your fantasy.

How about them Packers?
I'd let you watch, I would invite you, but the queens we use would not excite you.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby 1969libertine on Fri Jan 06, 2012 12:21 am

I gather from your reply that this kind of contact isn't normal at all, or you'd be telling me it was an accident, and I shouldn't make anything of it.

That's what my gut tells me as well, and like I said, nothing like that ever happened in the dozens of previous massages I've had. It's good to get confirmation from someone in this field. Thanks.

I guess she's either genuinely into me, or she's just trying to drum up more business from me.

P.S. What you're "feeding" is more curiosity than fantasy. And I'd never do something as cheesy as hitting on a massage therapist.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby pueppi on Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:14 am

So, the situation is this: you have had regular massage with another therapist at a rate of approximately once per month for one year. That means, if you were seeing a professional therapist who didn't act unprofessionally, you should know how a session is performed and what is and is not acceptable behaviour.

Because of this time frame in which you have had massage sessions, I am not sure why you don't know what to make of the incidental contact with the new therapist.

It is possible that your new therapists body mechanics are off for some reason and that is why she has accidentally touched you with parts of her body that shouldn't be touching you. With a large breasted therapist this can occasionally occur if the therapist is not extra attentive to their frame, is tired or is so comfortable with their body that they have stopped considering how incidental contact may affect the client. These are considered poor form in massage therapy.

To have a necklace dangling into a clients face is a big *no-no* in my book. So, no matter how many years of experience she has or how well she knows her way around the table, I have the feeling she is either obviously sloppy with her work, or you may have happened on a questionable therapist.

As far as erections, most therapists concentrated on their work actually will never see them or if they do, will ignore them. But, you should also know, that as a rule, it is rare for established clients in the therapeutic setting to have them. When you do the math, it is about 1 in 2,000 to 4,000 clients. Usually erections come in the form of new clients to a practice. And, usually those clients are released from the practice if it continues or becomes distracting. You can also wear underware if you feel this is going to be an ongoing problem for you and something you haven't learned how to control.

So, my advice is either stop thinking about it and move forward with your work with this therapist - being aware that there may be other issues at hand.

Or if you find you have a questionable therapist, just remember that she is probably more interested in the green in your wallet than any genuine interst you may be wondering about. And, if you want to put your money into a pit like that, then that would be your own choosing.


A quote from a post I wrote for my blog a while back:

Professional massage therapists don’t date clients.

<snip>

Clients can choose to maintain a realistic therapist-client relationship and can find someone other than their therapist with the qualities they may desire in a mate.

It can’t be repeated enough, it is a shame to lose a good therapist-client relationship based on a simple hope of a future personal relationship that would then have to stand the test of time.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby 1969libertine on Fri Jan 06, 2012 12:21 pm

It seems your profession has to fend off a good number of lonely, delusional, or entitled men with unrealistic expectations, so I appreciate your taking me at my word and not tossing me into that bucket.

Most likely explanation is she's focusing on the money. Given that this practice is only a few months old, she may have some financial anxiety. Also, I pay in cash and tip very well, so I'm guessing she makes twice as much from me as she does from her insurance clients, so it would make sense for her to try to get me in more frequently.

That doesn't bother me, though. I can't fault someone for trying to make a living, and her massages are exceptional. Should any more erections pop up (hasn't been a problem until her breasts got into the picture), I'm not going to stress about it.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby peacenut on Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:19 pm

1969libertine wrote: That's what my gut tells me as well, and like I said, nothing like that ever happened in the dozens of previous massages I've had. It's good to get confirmation from someone in this field. Thanks.

I guess she's either genuinely into me, or she's just trying to drum up more business from me.


1969libertine wrote:Most likely explanation is she's focusing on the money. Given that this practice is only a few months old, she may have some financial anxiety. Also, I pay in cash and tip very well, so I'm guessing she makes twice as much from me as she does from her insurance clients, so it would make sense for her to try to get me in more frequently.



All of your assumptions play into your fantasy. You say you are guessing, I say you are hoping. From what you have told us, your MT has done nothing to let you know she is focusing on money or has financial anxiety. As for being genuinely into you, she hasn't done anything to positively confirm that either. You just want to think she has. The only thing you have done on your part is pay in cash and tip well. That does not make you deserving of any sexual benefits. If that is what you want, go look for one of those Asian places. They aren't difficult to find and you won't have to be coy about it.
I'd let you watch, I would invite you, but the queens we use would not excite you.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby jdcan on Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:04 pm

Original Poster, what led you to choose your username?
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby 1969libertine on Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:52 pm

@peacenut - I have no expectations from her other than the great massages she gives. If she wants to brush her breasts against me as well, which did in fact happen, that's fine, it's her show. Look, I've been reading some other threads and I now understand that this is a sensitive topic for y'all. Sorry for stumbling in here with all my blathering.

@jdcan - 1969 is my birth year, and I am somewhat of a libertine in my philosophical outlook, if not my lifestyle. Believe me, if I was looking for a happy ending, I'd contact one of the many women out there who advertise those services. Or more likely, I'd just contact my wife. It baffles me that guys looking for release end up in your offices - it's like showing up at a Burger King and demanding a Big Mac.

Happy endings, god bless them, are no substitute for a therapeutic massage administered by a skilled practitioner. I started massage after tweaking a back muscle weight lifting about a year ago, and now I do it regularly because I think it makes me a happier and healthier person.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby jdcan on Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:35 am

OP, thank you for the reply.

I also once had an otherwise good therapist who was sloppy as to her awareness of her non-working body parts. There wasn't any non-professional intention. Just unawareness.
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Re: Incidental contact

Postby ALMT on Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:06 am

I once had a long-time client move away. A couple years later he contacted me to get some documentation for medical need. During our conversation we talked about our sessions and he commented, "Your massages were always great, but were you aware you occasionally brushed your breasts against my forehead?" My eyebrows shot up and I exclaimed, "I never 'brush' my breasts anywhere!"

I'm not large breasted. I'm also on the tall side. I pondered this, wondering how I could possibly be getting my breasts near a client's forehead. From what I could surmise, the only time this could possibly happen is when a client is prone, with me standing at the head doing long strokes down the spine's erector muscle groups, and I had no concept of getting my breasts near a forehead. I'm pretty body aware and mindful of leaning on clients or against tables. I started trying to pay closer attention and ... wallah! ... I realized it was my looser shirts (like a button-down blouse) that were in danger of brushing against a client. I think that's what my old client experienced. Maybe you too.

It's a good idea for the MT to step to the side of the head to do erector strokes. It may also be a good idea to be careful about loose fitting clothing.
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