What you might learn from my recent search for a new therapi

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wilton52
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What you might learn from my recent search for a new therapi

Post by wilton52 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:56 am

Hi - I recently moved cities, and unfortunately this meant that I had to give up my existing therapist and hunt for a new one. Over a 9 month period I saw no less than 9 before I finally settled on my current one. I thought you might be interested in reading about my reasons for not taking on the others on a permanent basis. For existing practitioners, this MAY give you some room for thought concerning issues you may have overlooked that you might want to examine. On the other hand, maybe my pet peeves are unique to me and you can ignore them. I will likely need a few posts to complete everything. Oh yes, I get my sessions covered by insurance, although I usually go over my allowance every year. These issues below in and of themselves are not necessarily fatal, but they add up. In fact, they may not be deal-breakers at all, and you may say, 'Geez, he is picky' - but actually, all it is is that if ANOTHER therapist can AVOID those problems, all else being equal they will get the business. Just like if you are choosing between two cars, if one has a better sound system and handles better, you choose it.

As to the obvious question: " why don't you say something' - well, I could say something, but I don't like to do that. It is not my nature, I just choose to not come back.

I am male in my 50s.

1) Time. One was rejected because the session finished 12 minutes before my time was up. Irritating.
2) Table. I have a large protruding chin. I hate those rests where there is BARE metal for my chin to rest on. Painful and unhygenic. Also, I like the arm rest to work properly.
3) Temperature. Too cold is awful, I'd rather be a bit warm than too cold. Cold massage oil is definitely annoying.
4) Massage strokes too fast- OK, this is where we get real important - Several therapists practice a kind of helter-skelter, deranged, waaay to fast (like scouring a pot) all-over-the-place strokes method. they are hyperactive, going here, there, no real focus, but overall just way too fast. They seem to be trying to impress me with their sheer energy. I don't like that.
5) Massage strokes - dead still! OK, this is the opposite! I had one therapist who at least 5 - 8 times jabbed her elbow hard in my back for (and I counted) for over 45 seconds - dead still, just an elbow in the back. Now, I am not trained, but to me that was nonsense. Enlighten me otherwise.
6) Back to smaller peeves - way too much oil. I think that the amount of oil is actually important - too little is , well, it isn't pleasant, but too much is also messy and destroys some element of touch sensation.
7) Too thin sheets. Holy smokes, one therapist I couldn't believe how whisper-thin the sheets are. I put my hand underneath (after the massage was over) and I could see the detail in my hand quite clearly, so when face up I was basically nude. ridiculous.
8) Another biggy - allowing me to get an erection. Yeah, you read me right - my view is a little different on this subject. I think that the therapist can completely stop an erection in its tracks if she wishes. All this talk of 'being comfortable with it - well, I am not, it scares me to death. It makes me tense, not relaxed. One of the therapists here said almost never (98%) do her clients get erections. Yet others say it happens often. CLEARLY the techniques must be different! The 98% therapist clearly is NOT doing anything to provoke an erection, or at least to allow it to continue. Its really simple - make the inner thigh strokes HARD, and at the first sign of anything going on apply some hard pressure on the front of the upper thigh - bordering on slightly painful. For me at least, that is the end of the matter.
9) Related - music. Come on, there is music that belongs in the bedroom and NOT in the massage room. And it UNBELIEVEABLE how many times I have had a massage where the player stops working multiple times during the session. It takes me out of my 'tranquility zone' when it goes dead silent for a few minutes.
10) Overly fragrant products applied to me.
11) OK, I am older, but I can't STAND a cellphone to ring in the room. It is just so silly.
12) Feeling the need to chat. Pick up the cues that I just want to drift away.
13) Home based practice - hearing kids stomping around upstairs.
14) Musty smell in a basement. The place was very nicely set up, professional except it still smelled musty.
15) Unbalanced massage. To me the areas to be massaged should get about equal time. Spending ENDLESS time on my upper back - I am talking about 40 minutes - then 3 minutes on each leg is silly.
16) Bad breath. To me it is unavoidable especially when lying on my back that sometimes I will get some breath near my face.
17) OK, hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but I have twice found that obese therapists sometimes have this noisy huffing and puffing breathing going on like they are exhausted. It doesn't sound nice.

All I can think of for now.

wilton52
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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by wilton52 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:58 am

why is there a 'cool' button at the beginning of point 8, I wonder. My text merely says 8)

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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by squash_blsm » Fri Sep 19, 2014 9:01 am

I am sure that you think that this is very helpful.
Thanks for taking the time to post, but I did not see anything that was particularly educational.

Glad you found a therapist that you are happy with.
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JLWmassage
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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by JLWmassage » Fri Sep 19, 2014 12:28 pm

squash_blsm wrote:I am sure that you think that this is very helpful.
Thanks for taking the time to post, but I did not see anything that was particularly educational.

Glad you found a therapist that you are happy with.

Glad I am not the only one who was thinking the same thing. Much of what you shared is personal preference.

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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by jdcan » Sat Sep 20, 2014 8:55 am

What is important to you may not be important to another client. I do agree cell phone ringing is rude. The speed of strokes (etc.) is a preference. The next client may prefer fast strokes. Your therapist is a massage therapist, not a psychic. If you don't speak up, the only way you'll get a "good massage" is if the therapist guesses correctly.

wilton52
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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by wilton52 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:08 am

JLWmassage wrote:
squash_blsm wrote:I am sure that you think that this is very helpful.
Thanks for taking the time to post, but I did not see anything that was particularly educational.

Glad you found a therapist that you are happy with.

Glad I am not the only one who was thinking the same thing. Much of what you shared is personal preference.
I know, that is EXACTLY what I said in my post.


"For existing practitioners, this MAY give you some room for thought concerning issues you may have overlooked that you might want to examine. On the other hand, maybe my pet peeves are unique to me and you can ignore them.

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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by pueppi » Mon Sep 22, 2014 4:29 pm

wilton52 wrote:why is there a 'cool' button at the beginning of point 8, I wonder. My text merely says 8)

If you type an 8 immediately followed by a closed parenthesis, you will get the little "cool" smiley. Looks like this: 8)

If you type in an 8, immediately followed by a period, immediately followed by a closed parenthesis, you will get an actual 8 (plus the baggage). Looks like this: 8.)

Additionally, you can type in an 8, and make a space and then follow it by a closed parenthesis. That will also give you your 8. Looks like this: 8 )

The issue is stemming from how the smiley function works on this particular forum.


BTW, I think you have quite reasonable requests, but do encourage you to talk to your therapist. I see a lot of clients who want spot work, but still want to feel like they have had a full body session. So, it is reasonable to work one area for 40 mins. and skim the rest. However, this is where communication is key. I always do a thorough intake with new clients and a cursory intake with existing clients (unless something new has happened or I have not seen them in a long time). During the intake, I am sure to go over what our plans for the massage will look like on this session. So, they know exactly what the plan is before laying down. "So, Mr. NNN, since you are looking for a full body session with roughly equal time on most areas, do you have a preference for beginning face up or face down? I prefer to start my clients up, so that they can really relax closer to the end of the session, but if you plan to go to a business lunch or dinner afterward, we may want to start face down, so that you look a little more fresh when you get ready to leave. --- Since we're going to start face up, I'll be sitting at the head of the table to work on your head, neck and traps for about 15-20 minutes. You mentioned that you don't need too much work on your arms, so then we'll skim those with a few strokes to pull things together and move on to the legs and feet in order to give you a little more time there. Then you'll turn over and be face down for approximately 35 minutes. After we finish with the legs, gluets and lower back (I usually am moving along the table and talking with my hands during this time), we can work a few of those tight spots between your shoulder blades that you mentioned for just a bit longer than the lower body portion of the session. How does that sound? --- I'll try to provide you with a well rounded session, and then the next time you come in we can tweak it according to what you liked or didn't like. --- As I am working, please don't hesitate to let me know if you want me to stay in an area longer, or if something is uncomfortable. --- I'll check in once or twice, but otherwise will allow you to just drift off, since you mentioned you do not like to talk during a session. Is that ok?"

If you are not having a conversation with your therapist before the session, it is my opinion that it will be doubtful for you to get the work you desire. Sheets, music and other issues are part of the full experience. I don't like thin sheets either. In my opinion that is uncalled for. It is nice to see you point it out. Fortunately the majority of the therapists who come to this forum are professional in their actions. However, it is important for therapists who are not as professional to see this information. Perhaps you will help some therapists move into a new way of working.
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Pete
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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by Pete » Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:15 am

I agree that communication is key, and while posting this information here to the forum might help other MTs think about stuff they may or may not already be thinking about, I would really encourage you to email the therapist(s) in question the specific complaints you had regarding your experience with them in order to educate them on what they did that discouraged you from coming back. That IMO will do the right people the most good especially if you send it as constructive feedback. At least that is what I would like to have if I was the MT in question.

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Re: What you might learn from my recent search for a new the

Post by holley » Fri Nov 07, 2014 9:37 am

It is considerate of you to share such info with us on this forum. Speaking your truth so that we might improve our practices reveals what is "in your nature", thank-you.
'Every Day is a god, each day a goddess and holiness pours forth in time."

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